<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN"><HTML><HEAD><META HTTP-EQUIV="Content-Type" CONTENT="text/html; charset=utf-8"></HEAD><BODY><DIV>Hi members</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>The article below is from Wednesday's Sydney Morning Herald. Its not very
historically accurate but it is pretty funny.</DIV>
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<DIV>Chris</DIV>
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<DIV>Introducing SerfChoices<BR>October 19, 2005<BR><A
href="javascript:ol('http://www.smh.com.au/news/heckler/introducing-serfchoices/2005/10/18/1129401251669.html');">http://www.smh.com.au/news/heckler/introducing-serfchoices/2005/10/18/1129401251669.html</A><BR><BR>New
work laws offer a brave olde worlde, writes<BR>Charles Purcell.<BR><BR>The
Government is proud to unveil its new industrial<BR>relations program -
SerfChoices. You may have seen the<BR>ads for it already: smiling peasants
plough the fields<BR>while soothing mandolin music plays. You
wouldn't<BR>believe how hard it was to find peasants with full<BR>sets of teeth
for those ads, this being the Middle<BR>Ages and all. Or ones that remembered
how to smile.<BR>But I digress.<BR><BR>SerfChoices features exciting changes to
the way your<BR>lord handles your employment. In the past, there were<BR>many
ways you and your lord negotiated. Some lords<BR>liked to beat their serfs with
maces; some cudgels;<BR>some preferred the rack. The Government is pleased
to<BR>announce there will now be one standard method for<BR>beating peasants
with large sticks, making it a<BR>simpler and fairer system.<BR><BR>SerfChoices
also changes the way you, the peasant,<BR>negotiate your weekly payment of
turnips.<BR><BR>In the past, you negotiated your turnip ration in
the<BR>presence of your lord and the Government's official<BR>torturer, Dagmar
the Terrible. The Government is<BR>pleased to announce it has eliminated third
parties<BR>such as Dagmar. Now your lord will beat and torture<BR>you directly
as you beg for scraps. Once negotiated,<BR>your contract will be cast in iron.
You can't get much<BR>more cast-iron than
manacles.<BR>AdvertisementAdvertisement<BR><BR>SerfChoices guarantees that many
of your employment<BR>conditions remain unchanged. As a peasant, you're
not<BR>entitled to holidays, so there's no change there. Your<BR>medical
benefits remain intact - when you pass out in<BR>the fields from exhaustion, you
will be left until you<BR>recover or the wolves take you.<BR><BR>The Government
has made it illegal for your lord not<BR>to beat you because of race, colour,
sex or age.<BR>Everyone will be given the same number of beatings,<BR>making it
a better system for all.<BR><BR>The maximum number of working hours a day will
be<BR>fixed at 23. One hour is permitted for sleeping,<BR>smoking noxious weed
from the West Indies, and turnip<BR>consumption. Casual peasants will earn a
quarter of a<BR>turnip and a piece of weevil-infested bread for each<BR>hour
they work over 23.<BR><BR>Your protection from unfair dismissal will depend
on<BR>your individual bargaining power - that is, whether or<BR>not you can talk
your lord out of shooting you with<BR>his crossbow. Yet another way the
Government is<BR>rewarding individual talent.<BR><BR>Thanks to SerfChoices,
Sunday will no longer be a day<BR>of worship, but of work. Your lord is your
living god<BR>- you may worship him whenever you please.
Collective<BR>bargaining - otherwise known as peasant rebellions -<BR>will be
treated in the usual manner, with the king's<BR>horses using the dissenters for
speed bumps until they<BR>drop their demands.<BR><BR>Over time you may notice
that your daily turnip ration<BR>goes down. That's because peasants in Upper
Saxony and<BR>Timbuktu are willing to work for less. SerfChoices<BR>will allow
us to build foundations for a stronger,<BR>more prosperous kingdom. If we don't
act now, soon<BR>there'll be no turnips for your children and your<BR>children's
children. And no one wants that.<BR></DIV></BODY></HTML>